Categorical Changes

One of the things that my psychologist told me when I was seeing her was that there tends to be clearing and/or cleaning which precede life changes.  I have been doing a lot of both clearing and cleaning lately (some of which started in the Summer).  Some of these changes might seem fairly minor while others, well, you should see the state of our office this morning.

Taxonomy of an academic

Major change

Last night we started the major chore of transforming our office into space that we can heal and do hobbies in.  It has mostly been a storage room and the biggest chore is trying to categorize my partner’s library of books into boxes for interim storage until we either move and have more space for them or she has an office on campus where she wants them.

I have been talking for a while about remaking the office into something more useful and last night we got started.  Even though I know making a huge mess is part of the process of cleaning, by the time we went to bed, I had questioned what we had gotten ourselves into.  But, I am looking at the end goal of having two desks together for all three of us to be able to craft at, open windows with natural light and space for me to have my massage table (rather then it being folded up in the living room).

Minor change

I have almost never been a breakfast person.  Brunch on the weekends after I have been awake a few hours, yes, but never one to eat anything upon awaking and before I start my day.  My breakfast since starting college has consisted of coffee and for a very long time, almost always something with white flour and white sugar.

The past two years when I have gone for coffee, I look in the food case and all I can think is “white flour… white sugar….” as I look at almost each and every item in the cooler.  Two evil things I would like to cut out of my diet.  I heard something not that long ago that has really stuck with me:

White sugar is fuel for cancer.

Given the amount of cancer in my family, I would like to avoid it in any way possible.  We buy a bag of white sugar a year for canning and the rest is either maple, brown or coconut sugar.

Over the past few weeks, I have started forcing myself to eat something before I am allowed to drink my coffee.  I have started taking coffee with me to work to save money and ensure I have something healthy to eat before I start drinking it.  I am now going out less for coffee on my “days off” when I study and am wanting to reduce that even further so I can save even more money and put to use this space we are creating in our house.

More clearing and cleaning are coming.  I have a stack of recipes printed out at home that I am hoping to make up today including ones that are for the freezer to easily be pulled out and thrown in the crock pot.  

With us creating space to be able to do hobbies, I am hoping I actually get my Boxer Quilt made this Winter!

Thawing the Bits and Bytes

I honestly cannot remember the last time I worked on any of my other websites other than it being before Spring.  At one point in time, I had over 40 domains in my web portfolio (no where near all of which were developed into websites).  Slowly but surely over the past five years, that number has been dwindling down as I stop renewing domain names.  I will continue this over the next two years as I let more of them expire down to just a few.

Since my surgery this Summer, I have undergone a major mental shift which seems to have removed the last of the mental roadblocks I had.  Up until a few years ago, the reason I had such a large web portfolio was because I had a lot of great ideas I wanted to implement.  I unfortunately spent hours upon hours planning, researching and developing those ideas – but very few hours actually implementing any of those ideas.  I seemed to literally “freeze” and not be able to take the next steps even though I was well equipped with the skills, tools and knowledge to do so.

Within hours of awaking from surgery, the thaw began.

While I should not fully credit surgery with this mental shift, it was certainly a major catalyst.  My career change and undertaking the healing courses and work I have been doing over the past year have also greatly attributed both to the mental shift and also to a quick, pain free surgery recovery.

There have been a lot of “ah ha” moments as to why I was “frozen” for several years that have come up in my healing sessions.  Moments that have allowed me to further validate my career change and not hold any regrets about it.  Two words that keep coming up are “environment” and “expectations”.  My sessions have helped me to identify and remove some of the impact that “environments” and “expectations” have had on my self confidence and ability to even “try” to do things which lead to me being “frozen”.  I believe it was worded as:

“It is easier not to play than to come in second”

which initially did not make any sense because I truly feel as though I am okay with not coming in first.  The being “easier not to play” really resonated with me.

Over the years, I have forced myself to sit down and create a list of what I have accomplished.  Doing so helps me to invalidate those whose words have had such a major impact on me.  I was literally “frozen” the last few years of my tech career rendering me completely useless at times.  There were days I could not get my work done – if it did not get done, it could not be criticized.  Even now, after I have moved on from said career, I still have a really hard time accepting that I really did great work during my tech career and will continue to work on this during my healing sessions.

As I write this post, I cannot help but question and wonder now that I have undergone a career change, what value there is in continuing on with some of my projects and will need to re-evaluate.  One of the projects was as much about the project itself as it was for me to be learning new client-side scripting languages which is now a bit of a moot point.  I have already spent hundreds of hours programming and will likely keep it up as a hobby because I really do enjoy programming.

This is my horoscope (I’m on the cusp of Gemini and Cancer) I read just before handing in my notice to my previous employer:

Whatever risks you take you will succeed brilliantly.  What would you do if you knew you could not fail?  Do it now!

Have you ever changed careers?  Was it a clean break moving forward or did you hang on to pieces of that career moving forward?  Have you thought of changing careers and not know where to begin?  What is holding you back from doing so?

If I can give one piece of advice, do not let money hold you back!