Getting Back on My Feet

While it was certainly not an easy decision to resign from my Office Manager position, the pros certainly outweighed the cons in terms of what I was needing in my life.  I wanted to be working downtown, closer to home, a transit pass, off earlier in the day, a schedule that worked with school and to get back on my feet for more exercise while I was working.

The downsides of having left are that I worked with some amazing people, witnessed amazing transformations in their clients lives and my having finally put my business skills to use has come to an end, at least, for now.

The worst part is the Biology class I was wanting to take over the summer was at an absolute crap time (right in the middle of the day!) which unfortunately would not have worked with either work schedule.  Biology will have to wait until September when I am hoping to get an afternoon (if not evening) class.  

For now, I am quite happy to have secured a morning shift that has me working Monday to Friday and I am off by 12:30pm.  I start my regular shift tomorrow morning and rode transit to work on Friday for the first time since before my son was born in September of 2007.  It felt great to be back on transit for my ride that was a whopping seven minutes short.  

Being back on my feet to work has felt great so far!  Even though my body has ached in protest.  I know it will take a few weeks for my body to adjust to having to wake up so early, be on my feet for so long and of course, the 15 minute walk up to the bus stop on what has to be at least a 30 degree incline.

Because I will not be taking any classes over the Summer, I will focus back on studying and working with the holistic healthcare classes I have taken.  I am excited that should everything work out, I will finally be getting Reiki training next month!  Reiki is something I have been wanting to learn for years.  I have several friends who are Reiki Masters willing to teach me but the timing has never been right.  Ever since taking my crystal healing courses, I have wanted even more to add Reiki to my tool belt for use with the crystal healing because the two pair really well together.  

The space is now cleared in the office for me to set up my massage table.  I have put the “door” back up that I took down a few years ago and the baby gate to see if they will stop the kitten from getting into the office.  I am fearing if either of our cats gets into the office, they will tear my massage table to shreds.  I want to be able to set up the table and not have to take it down with each use.  So far, so good and fingers crossed that it means they are officially kept out of the office.  My goal is two practice sessions per week.

Now to find a few bodies that I can practice on!

Content

As you know, I spent a couple of weeks in Vancouver doing some training. The first trip down, classes were held near Cambie and Broadway just a few short blocks from where I last worked in Vancouver. I was always early and would go to the Starbucks that was right on the corner. I would sit in the big comfy chairs that looked out over the intersection towards downtown Vancouver.

I would sit and watch the busyness of people in their suits, some with briefcases, totally plugged into their electronics and smile sipping my drink because I was no longer one of those spokes in the wheel. I used to be one of those people who would rush to get into work, was completely tuned out to anyone else around, barely looking up and completely unplugged from my surroundings. Vancouver was such an easy city to just “blend in” to the thousands of other unplugged folks around you. For where I was in my life at the time, it worked for me but although I do need to unplug and tune out every once in a while, it is certainly not where I am anymore in my life.

With the training I have undertaken and realizing just how unhealthy my life is (or was?), I can now sit back and observe. I can’t help but want to chase after some people and hand them a business card.

On one of those mornings of observation, I could not help but observe a feeling I have never felt in my life: contentment. I cannot pinpoint exactly what lead me to this feeling but I figure it was partly to do with where I was, where I had come from, the balancing’s in class that week and being able to sit and observe my former life and know that I will never go back to that. Whatever it was, I sat there one morning cluing into this feeling for the first time in my life of feeling content. It was really nice.

While I have come this far from that lifestyle, I feel that there are still more changes to my lifestyle that need to happen.  If there is one thing I have learned in life, is that change is constant, necessary and what helps us evolve as human beings.

The unfortunate thing, is that change is usually one of the biggest fears and hardest things in life for people to do. Change is always easier said than done.

Feel the fear. Do it anyways.

Was what I was told by my psychologist when I was off work on LTD. While she meant it in regards to my returning to work, I resigned from my job instead and took a giant leap of faith into a career change that has lead me to where I am today.

While the future feels a bit scary still, it feels much better and not as bleak as it did prior to my going off onto LTD. I feel hopeful, positive and for the first time in my adult life, I enjoy going to work and don’t sit there all day staring at the clock!

There are currently 11 draft blog posts that I need to work on publishing. Nine of which are on self-improvement including a five-part series on how I went about making positive changes in my life. I will be working on these over the next few weeks in hopes of polishing them off and queuing them up for publishing over the next couple of months.

Do you have changes in your life that fear prevents you from making? What are they and how will you go about overcoming them?