Thawing the Bits and Bytes

I honestly cannot remember the last time I worked on any of my other websites other than it being before Spring.  At one point in time, I had over 40 domains in my web portfolio (no where near all of which were developed into websites).  Slowly but surely over the past five years, that number has been dwindling down as I stop renewing domain names.  I will continue this over the next two years as I let more of them expire down to just a few.

Since my surgery this Summer, I have undergone a major mental shift which seems to have removed the last of the mental roadblocks I had.  Up until a few years ago, the reason I had such a large web portfolio was because I had a lot of great ideas I wanted to implement.  I unfortunately spent hours upon hours planning, researching and developing those ideas – but very few hours actually implementing any of those ideas.  I seemed to literally “freeze” and not be able to take the next steps even though I was well equipped with the skills, tools and knowledge to do so.

Within hours of awaking from surgery, the thaw began.

While I should not fully credit surgery with this mental shift, it was certainly a major catalyst.  My career change and undertaking the healing courses and work I have been doing over the past year have also greatly attributed both to the mental shift and also to a quick, pain free surgery recovery.

There have been a lot of “ah ha” moments as to why I was “frozen” for several years that have come up in my healing sessions.  Moments that have allowed me to further validate my career change and not hold any regrets about it.  Two words that keep coming up are “environment” and “expectations”.  My sessions have helped me to identify and remove some of the impact that “environments” and “expectations” have had on my self confidence and ability to even “try” to do things which lead to me being “frozen”.  I believe it was worded as:

“It is easier not to play than to come in second”

which initially did not make any sense because I truly feel as though I am okay with not coming in first.  The being “easier not to play” really resonated with me.

Over the years, I have forced myself to sit down and create a list of what I have accomplished.  Doing so helps me to invalidate those whose words have had such a major impact on me.  I was literally “frozen” the last few years of my tech career rendering me completely useless at times.  There were days I could not get my work done – if it did not get done, it could not be criticized.  Even now, after I have moved on from said career, I still have a really hard time accepting that I really did great work during my tech career and will continue to work on this during my healing sessions.

As I write this post, I cannot help but question and wonder now that I have undergone a career change, what value there is in continuing on with some of my projects and will need to re-evaluate.  One of the projects was as much about the project itself as it was for me to be learning new client-side scripting languages which is now a bit of a moot point.  I have already spent hundreds of hours programming and will likely keep it up as a hobby because I really do enjoy programming.

This is my horoscope (I’m on the cusp of Gemini and Cancer) I read just before handing in my notice to my previous employer:

Whatever risks you take you will succeed brilliantly.  What would you do if you knew you could not fail?  Do it now!

Have you ever changed careers?  Was it a clean break moving forward or did you hang on to pieces of that career moving forward?  Have you thought of changing careers and not know where to begin?  What is holding you back from doing so?

If I can give one piece of advice, do not let money hold you back!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *